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TOP TEN WAYS TO SHUT UP A NON-TREK GIRLFRIEND (OR BF) WITHOUT KILLING HER:
10. Tell her "Your ears canna stan the strain!"
9. Vulcan Neck Pinch
8. Have an Android made of her then when she starts speaking tell her to "Shut Up!" (See, "I, Mudd" - TOS episode)
7. Wave Phaser in her face and tell her you will stun her with it.
6. Use transporter to split her into two seperate personalities. Phaser Evil Girlfriend and keep Good Girlfriend. (See, "The Enemy Within" - TOS episode)
5. Tell her your watching the episode where Picard gets naked.
4. Ask if she wants to see the Picard Maneuver
3. Try, "Computer - End Program"
2. Tell her she's in violation of the Prime Directive and she is interfering with a lesser developed civilization.
1. Borg her.
Lt. Worf once dated Deanna Troi in 2370 aboard the Enterprise.
"Sometimes a man will tell his bartender things he'll never tell his doctor.
Dr. Phillip Boyce, Star Trek (The Menagerie) ("The Cage")
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