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Top Ten ways Star Wars beats the X-Files
10) Boba Fett would not have made the mistake of killing Scully's sister.
9) When Fox Mulder has a problem with the government, he breaks into an abandoned facility. When the Rebels get mad, they load into the X-Wings and blow stuff up!!!
8) Leia looks better in a bikini.
7) Luke and Han take on entire platoons of stormtroopers by themselves. Mulder gets his butt kicked by the flukeman.
6)When Han needs help, he turns to the smooth Billy Dee Williams. When Mulder needs help, he turns to three computer geeks from a Star Trek convention.
5) One word: Ewoks.
4) Cigarette Man smokes cigarettes to look mean. Darth Vader knows cigarettes don't make one mean. Blowing up planets does.
3) Vader also doesn't need cigarettes to have a breathing problem.
2) Everyone knows that the only reason Mulder and Scully use those really bright flashlights is for the lightsaber effect they get in the dark.
And the number one reason Star Wars beats the X-Files:
1) Deep Throat gets shot, and that's the last you see of him. Obi-Wan gets vaporized by a lightsaber, and not only still shows up for the rest of that movie, but comes back for 2 sequels.
R2-D2 and C-3PO characters are inspired from the famous comics duo of Laurel and Hardy.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
~Arnold Glasow
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