 | ||||||
| ||||||
Computer Help Desk
Heard by the computer help desk:
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer: "Five stars."
______
Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
______
Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry..."
______
Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen."
Customer: "Your left or my left?"
______
Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?"
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
______
Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."
______
Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."
______
Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
Customer: "Okay."
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
Customer: "Yes."
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?"
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one works!"
______
Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"
______
Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."
______
Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"
______
Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"
Figlet, an ASCII font converter program, stands for Frank, Ian and Glenn's LETters.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Albert Einstein
|
